Lessons Learned in Communication

A while ago I came across an information that approx 50% of respondents do not understand the jokes we make in written correspondence (a reference to e-mail in particular). Even if this is too much of a generalization and not particularly accurate, the proportion makes one think. Jokes are just one facet of communication. We might expect that in the entirety of what we communicate on paper or on the screen, a significant part gets lost on its way. This is point 1.

Point 2. During a meeting with a VP of my organization (I work in finance) my interlocutor mentioned that he wanted to convince people to use email only when appropriate, that this channel was overused in our internal environment. He stressed that F2F communication is always key to understanding each other. In any case, phones should be used before reaching out for the computer. If history (a trace) was necessary, writing a short email followed by a call would be advised.

Think it over. If you write an email and you get a response with requests for clarifications, further elaboration, isn’t it a sign you ought to pick up the receiver? Shouldn’t you have done it in the first place?

When it comes to Project Management, they often say that a good PM rarely stays in his office room.

Point 3. I had an interesting conversation with my superior lately. Unfortunately, only after we had concluded I realized we weren’t synchronized. It must have looked pretty funny from a different perspective. Picture this — he was thinking on paper. He took out a clean sheet, a pen and drew in parallel to his words. He underlined his arguments with the drawings in front of him. On the other hand, I was using words — descriptive, long sentences. Since I didn’t feel this “communion of understanding” between us, I tried to explain my arguments in… words, yet again.

Needless to say, both of us felt tired and unsatisfied with the course / result of our conversation.

Our ability to synchronize with others — first by listening, learning (stepping back to do so), and then communicating by using similar means / levels (e.g. sight, hearing, feeling) and channels as the other persons — greatly affects our chances to build relationships and get things done. Lessons learned? I pick up a clean sheet of paper and pen even when talking on a phone. I present my arguments aloud and draw pictures simultaneously. A flip-chart is my friend.

If our chances of success in communication can be increased by using several channels at once, why not give it a try?

Be a “Meaningful Specific”

After 09:09 Seth Godin says something I find extremely important:

“[…] all of a sudden, I am a wandering generality instead of a meaningful specific.”

This sentence comes in a part where he explains why he doesn’t use Twitter. Take a look:

The wise know what to omit –– when not to speak, when not to look or listen. “The essence of strategy is choosing what not to do” (Michael Porter). Good leaders know how to prioritize. Name it as you will, the answer is in leaving the essential [me] and maintaining focus like crazy. Would you agree?

Reflections on finishing books and books-teachers

“Here’s publishing’s dirty little secret: most books are not worth finishing. Most books could be cut in half and you wouldn’t miss a thing. The key is to read as long as you are interested and then stop. There are too many great books to read without getting bogged down in the merely good ones.”

Source: http://www.michaelhyatt.com/fromwhereisit/2007/11/how-to-shave-te.html

I would say that whether we are more prone to finish a book or not, depends on our character. Personally, I always thought that I like to read many books at a time, to increment my reading, so to speak. Finishing each and every one of them wasn’t my goal. Plunging into a new area — on the contrary. This applied to non-fiction in particular (e.g. business, psychology, self development). When I decided to examine the issue, it occurred to me that my patterns had changed over time.

“We are wired to tell and receive stories. We are all born storytellers (and ‘storylisteners’).”

Source: Presentation Zen by Garr Reynolds

For every non-fiction book, I would eagerly start off, learn the concepts, mapped usually in the beginning sections of the title, and let go when the author started to get into the intricacies of the subject. Soon, I became a fan of the “short form.” I often said “books are slow” or “a typical set of ideas found in any book could be easily summarized in one blog entry.”

Here comes the story

Some books stood out from the rest. Titles like Who Moved My Cheese by Spencer Johnson and Kenneth Blanchard or Tom DeMarco’s Deadline are built around a tale. Here, the message is wrapped up in a story. And stories help ideas spread, they make them “sticky.” Stories draw the reader’s attention towards the idea and allow him/her to associate pictures painted by the storyteller with the idea. When there’s a story in place, you remember more.

It became clearer to me that many books from the “fiction” genre were better teachers than typical research / analysis / presentation / elaboration titles. Take Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen, Memory of Running by Ron McLarty, The Power of One by Bryce Courtenay or Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card — these are incredible teachers indeed.

What are your personal thoughts on the subject? Do you have any favorite books that challenged you and provided insight you’d like to share? Please let me know.